Can't Win for Losing

Well...this has just been a horrible week for me emotionally. One of the kind that you don't know what's up and what's down and just what to say or do.

Work has been hard on me socialwise. I had a disagreement with a girl on another team regarding our seating. This is a girl who is an "ultra sensitive" person and can put on the big kitty tears and get everyone to sympathize with her. Yeah...you're getting my POV, but, I guess that's what this blog is.

In any case, I'm big bad Christina beating up on poor little Beyotch (yeah....okay, I know...). A few years ago, yeah, I was big bad Christina, but I turned a leaf a while back and have made Pollyanna look like cell phone wielding super model. I pitch in with numerous teams, I bring in goodies and lend a sympathetic ear. But according to my boss, people don't want to see the nice side of me when they want, and expect, the bad.

According to the snivelling Beyotch (yeah...okay, I know) people on the floor say that I think I'm better than everyone else. Now I try to make my work the best so that I can advance in the workplace. If I do the norm, I'll stay the norm and not go above and beyond. So when I get my work done and offer support to others, well, I guess they're taking that the same way (usually I go desk to desk on my team or send out an email).

Other things happened with the thing sitting across from me (yeah...) and what people don't get is that she hurt my feelings as well. I just didn't go to my boss/co-worker about it, prefering to just wait until it gets settled on the play ground.

The atmosphere at work for me has been tense. I tried to work things out with her and she blew up at me. Frankly, I nearly quit because I can't stand the pressure. Part of me wants to just shut down and screw everyone else. The other part of me wants to go above and beyond and show them that no matter what, they can't get me down...though it did get me to eat waaaay more pasta than I should have on Thursday night and I've avoided blogging in favour of sitting at home moping on non-kickboxing nights (it helped with the stress).

My boss is an awesome guy, though. He gave me a pep talk on Friday and I do feel a bit better, but I am really dreading tomorrow. So very much. I really wish I could work alone. There are positions to do that, but they're so hard to get into. Maybe this will be my year?

Things will get better, I know they will. For now, I'm recommitting to blogging, avoiding the overeating of pasta and getting out into the open air during break times.

On a happier note...it is Sunday and that means it's Mannland's Getting to Know You!

1. What color do you wear the most?
Blue! Saddly, I have a skin reaction to some blue dyes, but I just feel my best wearing blue. I feel it compliments my skin tone and hair and it just makes me feel good :)


2. Would you rather have $10,000 dollars or a dream vacation?
The money. I could pay off some debt or re-do the flooring in our home. We take small vacations and as nice as time in England/Ireland/Scotland would be, I'm a sensible girl with that :D And I am going to Disney in May...that's a lifelong dream there!
3. Do you have a weird, quirky or unusual habit?
I break out into song a lot. It would be so nice to live in a musical sometimes!

4. I really need to start..........?
Getting projects started and completed that I want to do. The front porch needs to be cleared out, repainted and redone. And to get a head start on my card making. And get a pedicure before I head to Florida!
5. What was the first blog you ever read?
Oh...lord...uhm...I have absolutely no idea! When I first got back into blogging in weight loss terms, I started here New Every Morning
6. Do you collect anything?
Do calories count? ha ha. Honestly, I guess books by favourite authors and movies!

7. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Somewhere in high school, I think...obviously it wasn't that memorable :P

8. Do you text/twitter while driving?
Never. I stop the car safely before answering the cell phone as well. It never leads to anything good!
 
Okay, here is to a great week. A new start and a better frame of mind. And hopefully long battery life in my MP3 player so I can block the work world out.