I am letting myself fall into emotional eating habits this week and I feel like I'm trying to put the brakes on for a truck that is driving on ice. The wheels want to catch and are stopping, but the ice keeps the truck moving.
My great aunt has survived multiple bouts of cancer since the early 1960's. She has had most everything a person can have removed taken away and still lives on. She has survived some of her own children and a husband. Now at 85 her body and mind are finally letting go. Unfortunately she is very much in pain. I saw her on Monday and could only hold her hand as I said good bye. The hospital will be giving her morphine to ease the pain and her transition.
At the same time, my great uncle, her brother, is finishing up his cancer treatment which will prolong his life for a short while. He has survived a few wars and a bout of Malaria in Africa where he lost his brother.
Both of these relatives moved back to Moncton when their families seemed to cast them off as too much of a hassle. Their nieces took over the family role and I am proud of my mom and aunts for what they have done for these two.
At the same time, these past few days have been hard, knowing soon Gladys will be gone in a matter of days and Freddy later this year as his cancer has rapidly spread. I have such fond memories of both of them, but it's difficult to see them this way. And so I've used this as an excuse to go off plan and off kilter.
Every day I tell myself that I'll start over again, a new day, a new chance to stop that truck on the icy road. But I just ease up on the brakes and keep going. I have kickboxing tonight, so I hope that will motivate me to ignore the call of the kitchen tonight and the rest of the week.
So far talking, typing and prayer haven't helped quell the desire to bake a cake and eat it. How do you deal with the emotional truck? Any other tricks of the trade?
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